Saturday 22 November 2008

It’s not for what you have done.....

I was dead when she said those words. My ears couldn’t bear the pain they carried and mind the meaning. She said “It’s over.” I had no words coming out, just turned back and walking with all the past moments flying in my eyes. I was dragging myself and was holding my eyes hard so that the tears will not come out. I needed someone to standby perhaps, the one I thought told me this. I walked back home, pushed the door saw my mom waiting for me. It was quite late in the night and yet she was still up.


She has been a patient listener whenever I was a impatient speaker. She bared my frustration many a times. Looking at her my eyes broke and I started crying. No sooner I was in her arms and tears were running. She made me sit on the floor and was trying to console me. I slept on the floor with head on my mother’s lap and I was still weeping. She placed her hand on my fore head and asked “”What happened dear? I have never seen you like this..”


I replied “I lost in my life, what all I thought was mine doesn’t belong to me anymore. I am a big time loser, I lost what all was I”.. I couldn’t speak more as tears became intense. My mom was still patient and she was just letting me cry, she wanted me to be relieved from the pain I am having, I think.

I started talking again “You know what mom, the one person whom I thought was for me, asked me to leave out of her life. She told me she can’t like me anymore. I couldn’t even ask her the reason, as the very word killed me.” My mom, I think understood what happened now. She started telling me how people should handle these kind of things, how you need to come out of it and start doing what you are meant to do. Those words definitely made sense, reduced the intensity of tears; but still one thing was in my mind. “What I have done in my past, so that I am facing this now, why I eventually ended up breaking up a relation which I thought was my life.”

I asked my mom the same question with sheer innocence . She smiled and said “You are asking like a kid.. don’t you feel so ?” I said “Yes mom, but what did I do, of which I broke my relation and putting my mind for a change ?”

She patiently replied "My dear, I will tell you a story which will let you understand how to perceive what has happened with you. Once a king went for hunting and got lost in the forest. He happened to find himself a sage’s place to stay overnight. The next morning he got up he was ill. Sage asked him to take rest till he recovers. King thanked the sage and stayed back. Sage went to the backyard and searched for a herb he planted couple of days before. looking at it he said, "Yes, I can use this tomorrow for medication.”

The herb listened this. It was seriously worried. The reason was that, the herb was planted couple of days back, and near to that there was a pebble. When there was rain the day the herb was planted the pebble protected it from getting eroded. The herb developed a attachment to the pebble. As herbs grow fast they tend to stand straight indicating their growth. Poor herb wanted to be close to the pebble and started bending towards the pebble. It was this bend what the sage looked at and said, yes I can use this for medication tomorrow. The herb couldn’t be of much help and same was the case with pebble. Finally next morning sage came to the back yard and tried to pluck the herb. The pebble tried to stop the effort but in vain. Sage took the herb, Made the pebble to close the next herb and proceeded for medication. King was cured and he proceeded with his journey thanking the sage""

My mom looked at me now, and asked me for the conclusion I got from what she said, I replied “It was not definitely the story of king and sage it is the story of herb and pebble. You were referring to the purpose what the herb and the pebble were meant to do”.

Mom replied with a smile and said “Yes, It’s about focusing on the purpose of your life. The herb that was separated from the pebble cured a king, the pebble was supposed to protect herbs from getting eroded. They are meant for that for their life.”. These words did work on me and I developed sense out of the story. She looked at me persuasively and said “My Dear, remember one thing, when time makes you come out of something, it’s not for what you have done, it’s for what you have to do.”