Rock On!!!

There is a humming on my lips when I am under the shower...

Some times I wish to give an answer by a song ;)

I open up my arms let the air flow through me when I am biking..

With these opened arms I make a punch in the air singing my fav tunes as if no one is watching me

I lean back on my bike's seat and make up funny postures..

I play PJs and laugh like hell..

I enact stars in front of mirror and appreciate myself

so many smiles in the trial room while buying a new shirt .. how am i looking like this;) ?

The little pride I took when my friends told me you sing well..

The tender smile I gave when someone said I am happy to talk to you..

The innocence I wore on my heart when someone showed concern..

A vivid joyful expression i gave when someone said "you look nice today "

All the times there was freshness, it was carried in every moment and every moment was enjoyed...

But things changed, slowly the natural living factor was going down..

It was more an algorithmic living.. changing priorities, changing situations.. at a time it was too much business logic on mind and heart..

Many compromises in life... I hold my kiddoing coming out when i am midst of crowd..

I hide my thoughts..

I give up my wants...

It was tough to realize all this but something made to it..at a moment I felt there was someone else living inside me and my soul looks here and there to figure out who actual me is...

Once the thought changed... the way was clear and natural beauty was out...

I had a long bike drive... opening my arms letting the wind flow through.. leaning on back on the seat and singing my fav song!

I am Rock On!...

Dad, I Love you

It was one of the mornings of winter when I got up early and ran to my dad and said, "Dad I will join you for the walk today..". My dad had no company that day, so he was very much happy to take me along with him. I gave a big smile and shouted in excitement, "Mom, I am going with dad for the walk.. will get back soon". We both walked towards the shoe stand, where my father has his favorite shoes(mine too), long, heavy, hush puppies. I said "Shall I wear them", my dad smiled and replied, "you have got time to do that dear.. wait for that". I was convinced with his smile and started for the walk.

It was along the beach I was walking holding my dad's hand... did a running race with my dad, and for the first time I won.. with gasping throat I said, once more. there was fog along the beach.. and my dad was ahead in the race this time...  he was running in the fog and I could not see him clearly... I tried my level best.. and I saw my dad stopping and walking at some distance. I raised my speed, and when about to reach him, I jumped in the air to hold his hand... I couldn't catch it, he was not there... I had an illusion in the fog. I fell down on the sand hurting my forehead and nose. I got up, without the sense of my wounds I was searching for my dad in eager and tense. I could not find him anywhere. I screamed and tears started rolling down my cheeks and nose was running. with full hands shirt I wore, I was rubbing my face and crying for my dad.
With this tense, I came back home and I saw mom tensed, yet in a composed state. with a high pitch in the voice, I asked her "Where is dad ?". There was no reply, I shouted again "Where is dad ?".. my mom said, dad is on an indefinite trip, he had to go and he did. I was scared, tears got intense and voice was going down. My mom took me into her arms, and said "Don't cry dear, he will be with us"...she continued saying "your dad left a message for you".. I was out of tears with that word and could not wait to see that.. my mom took me to the pair of shoes of my dad and said "Here it is".. I was happy with that message, and started wearing them. They were long and heavy and the way I walk changed a lot with them. As time progressed I developed a better way of walking with those shoes on.
In this journey dad, I did miss you, many times I was talking to you by myself, I never got an answer, at times I did not like you, for not giving me a reply, where have you been dad? I needed you...
Whenever I got this thought, I used to rush to mom and she soothed me. I remembered some of the stories you told me dad and that helped me to cheer myself and continue the journey. Over a period of time, I made my walk steady and learned how to walk with them. I realized the biggest thing you wanted me to teach was, learning life by myself.
It took me this time, why you left that message when I was young, why you wanted me "to step into your shoes". you built my life dad.. but always your presence is very much wanted...
I made my life the way it has to be dad and I am living up to my values and your thoughts. All said, still I miss you, dad, I Love You.