The Life Line

I get to see my dad far and few between. He keeps on travelling. That night I was sleeping, I know he was going to be home late in the night. I was thinking of the promise he made when he left for the last tour. I love walking on a railway track nearby my house and I keep on betting with my friends who can walk long and who can walk fast.

Last time my dad left he did not tell me. I was asleep when he made the move. I was dreaming that my dad was holding my hand to make walk along the track. I was smiling with my cheeks going read and all care of mine on my feet and watching which step lands where. I was able to move quick on the track and shouted dad “Look at this”.. with this shout I woke up by my own voice. I found my mom rushing towards me…

I thought, this time I am not going to let me dream this. I know he is going to be back home and I will make sure he fulfills his promise. I slept holding light blue pillow tight, which is my dad’s favorite one.

I got up before the dawn and rushed to his room to wake him up. I asked in hasty, dad let’s go. Dad told me I am tired, I can’t come out for the walk now. I requested him, and told him “Dad whatever you have to do, I will do it for you, but please come for the walk today. I am all eager for this.” with my lovable force he had to get up and we started for the walk.

While we were few yards away from the track, I asked, “How can I walk fast and still steadily on a railway track?”, dad said with a smile “Always watch your step carefully”. I told him with sheer innocence “Dad, every time I look at my foot while walking here I fell down, how can I watch?”, dad was laughing. I was silent, he said, “you need not necessarily see if you need to watch.” I gave him a confused expression. He understood that and said, fine “I will make you have blind folded walk today”, I screamed “No dad no, I am scared with the very thought.” Dad replied “I am at your side, I’ll guide you along, take the support of my hands.” I could see my dream come true, indeed I was really happy and I thought to myself that I will do this blind folded walk at any cost.

We reached the track, and my dad made me stand on the track and asked me to close my eyes. I did. He asked me to stretch my hands for balance and he supported them with this hands standing at my back. It was little chilly out there and I was able to feel the warmth of dad’s hands. I asked dad “Dad what if I fall down ?” dad replied “I know you won’t”. Though that was a childish question the answer my dad gave rose my confidence. Dad said “let’s walk”.

Initially I had little hiccups tilting to right and sometimes to my left. Dad supported me with his hands and was telling me how to walk properly. Meanwhile I said, “Dad I think we need to go a long way”, he smiled. I was talking to him and he was responding sporadically. At times the answer was a pat and sometimes a smile. I got used to it in few minutes. After certain time I was confident walking over the track, probably the warmth of my dad’s hands was what making me feel it. After some time I said, dad shall I open my eyes, there was no response, I asked again still no response. I shouted dad “dad, shall I open my eyes?”, still there was no response. I shouted and shouted and voice went invalid. He was not responding. I was worried and started, crying and shouting. Suddenly I felt left alone, I was left out and with intensely disturbed thought I had to open my eyes and turn back. Thinking of my dad I opened my eyes.

I was on the bed, still able to feel the warmth of my dad’s hands. opposite to me was the photograph my dad and me on the track me walking on the track line, The Life Line.

The Thought Channel...

A complex wiring of neurons, connected with extreme yet sensitive emotions.

A matter that can hardly bare a eye lid force, yet can generate immense power.

Fuzzy thoughts make the flowers on the thorns garden and a blanket spread on them.

The blanket is me and the rest is quite obvious, my emotional thoughts. I never let any tranquil in any one of my nerve cell, they just keep charged and allow the currents pass through. The emotions used to raise the pulse and mouth used to do the talking to decrease the pulse. I was never sure when to let my emotion out and of course how to let it out. I was struggling for this answer. Many faces I met and many voices I asked, no help. I was down and almighty was the only way to help me. Having this faith, I walked to my sitting room, sat on my dad’s chair with my head resting and shoulders relaxed. I was too tired to observe my surroundings and continued to be in the same state.

Past was spinning as a broken ellipse in a disturbed orbit. It was impossible to think of patience and feel calmness. I just couldn’t stop from closing my eyes tight, holding my fists tight and taking deep breath. I moved back and was on the journey to get over this. My vision went blank and thoughts void.

I saw myself questing for help in pitiful way. Meanwhile, I saw a old man barging in with a bag like thing in his hand. He was trying to give it to me and I was puzzled. To solve my confusion, he said this will help how to tackle emotions. Before I could say anything he said, “Next time you feel anxious, just close your fist and open it, you will find a rock in your hand. Put that in this bag.” I curiously asked , “After that?”. He said, “You will get to know by yourself.” As he moved away from me I was sensing the calmness in thoughts. I roused up in a shock and involuntarily opened my fists. I saw a rock falling down from my hand on the floor. I recollected what the old man said and kept the stone in the bag. The bag was very soft and the presence of rock was clearly visible.

I started doing this action and observed the bag grew more stiff every time I added a rock and so was I. Over a period of time I saw a tap developing at the bottom of bag. At times I thought I will not take the rock out of mine. When I was thinking too hard, the bag developed fumes from itself, looked as if, emotions were melting. I saw this happening at times and was always curious what’s going on inside.

To solve this anxiousness, finally I untapped the bag. A lump of metal flew out into my hand and solidified. My hand didn’t burn, I was surprised. Soon the molten form took a proper shape. It was looking very precious and rich. People saw them at times and found them extraordinary. When they came to know that my emotions are turning like this, they realized how important they were, and I realized, how intense the pain was, that bright the stones were. I reached a stage where the thoughtful emotions found a way to speak for themselves. The sense of satisfaction the shiny lumps made, channelized my emotions.

Having seen the state with and without the bag, I am proud of this thought channel, the right channel.